The ties that BIND

When I was a teenager the worst part of my summer was the dreaded family reunion.  The event made me cringe.  Mom would call me away from my beloved books to roll plasticware in napkins, or sweep, or clean toilets.  Uhhh!  It was exasperating!   One year I was so hot in the kitchen I opened the freezer and stuck my head in it to cool off...only once...the reprimand was pretty bad for that stunt.

The preparations were bad, but the reunion itself was even worse.  There I had to say Hi, How are you, to the old folks, some of whom couldn't remember whose kid I was or how old I was or what grade I was in this year.  I joked with my confidant (who shall remain anonymous) that I should just get a poster board to post all my stats on and then wear that around the yard.  Really!  Couldn't they just deduce that I was one year older, one year greater in school!!

And there really were no kids my age there.  My mom has some cousins that are a few years older than me, but they are all boys, and good friends with each other.  My own cousins are at least 11 years younger than I am and when you're 14, looking for a friend to survive a reunion with, that's a pretty substantial gap.

Much to my mothers dismay I began hiding up in my grandparents bedroom, watching the ultra awesome Nickelodeon that we didn't subscribe to at home.  If that wasn't available I would descend to Pop Pops 'office' in the basement. That's where my cot was set up and there was a lamp for reading.  I read all. the. time.  Books became the friends who endured reunions with me.

Now I am a little older, and hopefully more mature.  The reunions represent legacy to me now.  I am no longer forced to attend, but like to.  Unfortunately circumstances make it difficult for us and we haven't been able to go in many years. These days I bring along my own group to hang out with, the ones I've given birth to!

Life is different for me now.  Today I have the eyes to see the reunion for what it is.

My Grandparents began hosting this huge family reunion decades ago.  We lived halfway across the country and would visit them once a year.  It was important for my mom to visit all of her relatives and we would spend hours driving around the state to visit them.  Grandma and PopPop saw the impracticality of this and began hosting a family reunion at their house each summer.  This allowed my parents visitation with all their relatives, only now they all came to see us, instead of the other way around.

This reunion may have began as a small potluck picnic.  But it quickly evolved into a catered event, complete with magicians for the kids and volley ball games for the adults.  One hundred people roaming around the backyard, connecting with loved ones again, reaffirming the importance of family.

After the days festivities my grandparents, aunts and uncles would analyze the day, "Did we have enough food?"  "Was the entertainment sufficient?"  "How many attended?"  On the porch plans were tweaked for the next year.  Pop Pop even had a chart of which sodas were consumed, how many were left, and what he should stock up on in the next 360 days.

I saw at a very early age that family is the most important thing.  And any money poured into it isn't lost, but rather, will reap great rewards.  My grandparents have invested thousands of dollars laying the foundation for what now supports a priceless legacy.

The reunions continue today, but at a different house, my uncles.  It has become a tradition, passed from one generation to the next.  Most of the original attendees are still there, moving a little slower perhaps, but a younger crowd has emerged, the kids that played at the original reunions now have children of their own.  And those babies are also learning importance of family.

This morning I was talking to my husband about death.  This little reunion that continues has been shaped by it.  My Aunts laugh that once rang out from my Grandparents porch is now missing.  My Grandma's quiet servitude, moving the tea tray from the kitchen to the round porch table...is now a fond memory of what grace looks like.  We have been shaped by these loses.  And yet also strengthened by them.  Each year Pop Pop puts up a board with pictures of those who have gone on and they are remembered.

My Grandparents recognized life for what it is:  fleeting.  And family for the role it should play: solid foundation.

They took proactive steps to preserve it.  They were not trying to hold onto life, but rather, to cherish it, exalt it and to promote it through family ties.  They are a great example to me.